Impotence and dating

The end result: The couple can stop communicating altogether -- not only in the bedroom, but in all aspects of their relationship.

And that, say experts, can only make problems worse for both partners.

It can be the result of stress, depression, or sometimes even for no reason at all. Unfortunately, experts say a lack of education about the causes of ED are frequently behind a woman's self-blame, as well as her increasing anxiety, and sometimes, even feelings of hurt and anger when the problem occurs.

"Most women usually start with a line of questioning that often has some anxiety or hurt to it.

During this talk, Downey says make certain that your man is aware of the health problems that can be the cause of his ED, and gently suggest he talk to his doctor.

Indeed, Downey believes the more matter of fact a woman can be in approaching this conversation, the more likely she is to get through to her man.

Mc Cullough agrees: "You don't want to forget about what's going on, or pretend it doesn't matter, but turning into a nymphomaniac isn't the answer either." So what should a woman do when her man just can't perform? Once you're past that hurdle, experts say do acknowledge the problem exists and open the lines of communication about it.

Experts seem to agree that most important is to remember it's not your problem and you're not the cause. "The best thing to do is to discuss things outside of the bedroom -- not right after it happens, but days or even weeks later," says sex expert Jennifer Downey, MD, a psychiatrist at New York State Psychiatric Institute and a professor at Columbia University.

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It may even take a while to convince him to see a doctor at all.Advice for women on how to cope with their partner's erectile dysfunction.By Colette Bouchez Web MD Feature Reviewed By Brunilda Nazario, MD The TV commercials make it all seem so simple: He can't get an erection so he pops a pill."Women internalize things -- they tend to blame themselves first, thinking it's because they have done something wrong, or that they are no longer attractive to their partner.In fact, the first thing a woman thinks when a man can't get an erection is that it's her fault, and nothing could be further from the truth," says Andrew Mc Cullough, MD, director of sexual health and male infertility at NYU Medical Center in New York City.ED, or erectile dysfunction, is medically defined as the inability to achieve or sustain an erection long enough for sexual intercourse. Although many women -- and men as well -- continue to view ED as a sexual issue, in truth, the most common causes are undiagnosed physical conditions such as diabetes, high cholesterol, or even the earliest stages of heart disease.Virtually all men experience some erection failures at certain points in their lives. According to the American Foundation for Urologic Disease, it's a problem that affects about 18 million men in the U. Even more often, it can be the result of certain medications used to treat these conditions, particularly some high blood pressure drugs.Indeed, while many women jump ship in troubled waters, others take the opposite approach and try to drown their mate in eroticism, believing the problems will disappear if they simply try harder.Not only is this not true, experts say this approach can make things worse.The one thing you don't want to do in the meantime is tell him that his impotence doesn't matter."It matters to him, and saying that you don't care also sends a message that you don't miss the sexual, intimate contact with him -- and that can push a man even further away," says Mc Cullough.

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