Dating love online romance

If the relationship stays in the space of the chat, it cannot generate erotic or romantic love - these require an interaction with the embodied person.

However, by the time the physical meeting between the two potential lovers has occurred, Tinder has already set a dynamic that is directly opposed to the generation of love - .

Tinder, by contrast, provides only one possible way of viewing the Other: its very structure - only allowing extremely limited information to be provided, focussing on physical appearance and relying on a polarised decision (accept or reject) - demands and facilitates risk aversion, conditional relationships and a consumerist attitude to the Other.

Many will look at this argument as trumped-up romanticism, and it is.

But are these people looking for love in the wrong place?

The official number of users on Tinder isn't public knowledge, but estimates place it somewhere between 10 and 50 million people who swipe left or right through over 1 billion profiles a day.

But recall that I'm focussing here only on those who are using Tinder as a means to finding love in a deeper sense than that described by casual sexual encounters, friendships, or playful banter over chat to be submitted to a comic Instagram or Twitter account. If you're looking for something serious, log off and find another dating app, or stick to the physical world.

But it might not be that simple: the growing power of Tinder means it's no longer just an app, it is quickly dominating the landscape of romance in the Western .

Instagram seems more about projecting a visual narrative of one's life while consuming the narratives of others.

Here there is a manifest failure to be open to the Other as an equal; they are consumed on the screen, and later consumed in the physical world as well.

This comes very close to what Soren Kierkegaard saw as the lowest kind of love - based entirely in the .

Tinder is (for many, at least), about , and social imperatives tell us that the successful pursuit of love is an intrinsic element of - or even synonymous with - living a fulfilled and happy life.

Keeping in touch with friends and family, or knowing which artisan cafe served their avocado on spelt this morning is certainly important, but it is unsurprising that finding the person with whom one becomes "one tree and not two," as Louis de Bernieres describes in , would occupy more of one's time.

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